Reader: Third party relationship? That’s the kind of party I want to join?
What? That;s not even what that mea- Nevermind. Just listen, dear reader.
Everyone is involved in a relationship at any given time be it a familial relationship, friendship, etc. One of the most important relationships that we treasure is the “love relationship” between a man and a woman. It is a precious thing and we often wouldn’t want it to end but for most of us, these types of relationships usually end once or twice (if we’re lucky) before we found The One for us.
If you, like us, wouldn’t want the loving relationship between you and your significant other to end, then you should take note of the behaviours that will break this relationship. We would have thought that the most dangerous threat is a third person inserting themselves into a relationship, but what if I tell you that a third party is not always another person? Beware of these silent “third-parties” that will break your relationship.
Insecurity means a lack of confidence or an anxiety about oneself. This often led one to experience self-doubt and in return, feels that one is not good enough. This is one of the most common problems between couples.
Insecurity will naturally convert to a lack of trust in the relationship from one party and it will easily result in unreasonable behaviour. Check your actions today. Are you worrying about your appearance? Are you anxious about where your partner goes or who he/she meets? Are you controlling your partner in an unreasonable manner? If you are, you might be feeling insecure. Speak to your partner and work things out before it is too late.
Reader: Wait, so you’re really not going to talk about third party relationships that actually involve a third person?
Why did you italicize third party relationships and say it in that creepy voice? And NO I’M NOT.
Over-dependence means relying on or needing someone excessively for support and attention. An over-dependent person expects the other party to be always there for him/her. The partner must come at his/her beck and call, and there is no breathing space between them.
This behaviour pushes the other party away as it might cause the partner to wonder if they are treated as a partner or a servant. Speak to your partner if you think that he/she is behaving this way. Talking it through will help save your future heartaches.
Inability to communicate
Communication here means to rely on your thoughts and opinion through speaking to your partner. Everyone knows that communication is key to a healthy relationship. However, not everyone has the ability to communicate to his/her partner.
An inability to communicate can stem from many reasons – anger, lack of confidence, unwillingness to communicate. When one party is unable to communicate to the other, especially on serious or important matters, communication breaks down completely, leading to a myriad of misunderstandings. So it’s true when they say, it’s either you talk, or you walk.
The inferiority complex is at best a complicated issue. The subconscious lack of self-worth, combined with feelings of not being “good enough” can lead to many issues. At the core of this, it is a lack of self-esteem that could be developed through personal characteristics (such as appearance or perceived lack of intelligence) and a repeated negative personal experience.
A person with an inferior complex will overcompensate excessively in everything they do. It could lead to annoying little traits like being a perfectionist or worse, suffer from a mental condition. Work on your self-esteem if you think there is an issue with it. If unsure, speak to your partner about your concerns.
Reader: Is this the part where you talk about third party relationships and-
Always wanting a perfect relationship
There is no perfect relationship in this world. Remember that always. When we walk into a relationship with open eyes and open arms, we walk into it knowing that our partner has certain flaws that we might not like and we are not going to change the flaws. A flawed partner can never create a perfect relationship with us.
Every one of us is flawed in some ways and wanting a perfect relationship (according to your definition) is just demanding. It puts your partner off and might create misunderstandings when there are none in the first place. Stop expecting a perfect relationship and enjoy your imperfect relationship the way it is.
Having a narcissistic character
Being narcissistic means having an over fondness of yourself in both physical and mental capability. Being a narcissistic partner means your partner has no place in your mind. Your partner will constantly have to battle with your inflated self-image in order to be seen or heard.
It creates undue frustration to your partner as he/she will feel neglected and unappreciated. Start appreciating your partner today if you realised that you have not been doing that in a while.
Trying too hard to please (anyone)
If you are always trying too hard to please, it could mean that you have an inferior complex, or you are feeling insecure. You may think that it is a good thing to please your partner, but it actually works the other way. When you start to please your partner in everything, he/she will begin to take you for granted.
Soon, your partner might see you as how you view yourself, be it “not good enough” or a “people pleaser”. The problems will start when you realised that your partner no longer treasures your opinions or thoughts, maybe even yourself. To prevent that from happening, start living as yourself for who you are.
Stop pleasing everyone, especially your partner. It would be good to note that the above 7 “third parties” often work hand in hand to destroy your otherwise healthy relationship. Be aware of what you think, do and say in your relationship will usually help you to keep away from these “third parties” and allow your relationship to grow tall and strong like an evergreen tree.
This article was first published on goodyfeed.com
DPM Lawrence Wong has just spoken about his plan for Singapore in the next ten years and more. Here’s a summary of his first speech: