#ThirstyThursday: Mars & Snickers Drinks Review: Taste Like Milo with Extra Condensed Milk

By
George Yang
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I know what you’re thinking: Mars & Snickers drinks? Didn’t they go viral like two hundred years ago? What’s this Trashy Feed trying to smoke?

Now, hear me out. My boss has a crappy idea: we’ve got #MovieMonday whereby we review a new movie on Monday, and a #FastFoodFriday in which we waste our calories on some new fast-food item.

(Note that all the review items are cheap stuff)

“So,” he said intently to BuffLord95, “why not have a #ThirstyThursday, whereby we review new drinks?”

BuffLord95 immediately clapped like a sea lion. “Good idea, boss! You always have the best-est idea!”

Image: Tenor

“Great. Any new drinks recently?”

I thought of something immediately. “How about the new—”

“There’s some Mars or Snickers drinks, right? Isn’t that new?” the boss said.

“Boss,” I whispered ever so softly, “those drinks went viral in 2017 and we even wrote—”

“Excellent idea, Boss!” BuffLord95 cut in, giving the boss many thumbs-ups (and I think I see some winks, too). “He can write it!”

I smirked. BuffLord95 isn’t just the boss’s pet: he’s also a master in tai chi and I wondered who’s going to be the unfortunate—

“Good.” I felt a tap on my shoulder. The boss is staring at me. “Go buy them and review them by today. It’ll be our first #ThirstyThursday.”

“Yes, he’ll do a great job!” BuffLord95 exclaimed.

As the boss went back to his office to watch Netflix, BuffLord95 powered up his game again. “You’re really a boss’s pet,” he said. “Always volunteering for extra work. What stupid #ThirstyThurday. Such a corny name.”

And so, here I am with the two drinks that were viral two years ago.

Finding Them

Remember two years ago, when everyone flocked to Mustafa Centre because they were found there?

Well, this time around, you won’t need to travel all the way to Farrer Park MRT Station—you can get it from any supermarket or any 7-Eleven. In fact, we got ours from a 7-Eleven outlet and there’s a discount for two bottles—pretty sure that’s the reason why the boss chose these bottles instead.

While they’re now easily accessible, are they worth the calories?

 

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Let’s find out.

First Look

Honestly speaking, they do look…dope.

When I bought them to the office, everyone was eyeing them like they’re some new drinks—in fact, I think only about 50% of us know that they exist. Either the rest has got goldfish memories or they were born after 2017.

The bottles look expensive compared to other drinks you see, so you’ve got to give them points for the aesthetic appeal.

However, do note that they’re not exactly “drinks”, but more of “shakes”.

Taste Test

Now, to the meat of this review: how does it taste?

Before that, you’ve got to know the calories of the drinks because we’re all health freaks. The Snickers shake, at 350 ml, has 245 calories. The Mars Shake, at 350 ml as well, has the same amount of calories.

Given that a bottle of 500 ml soft drink has about 200 calories or so, you can bet that these shakes do pack more calories than your regular after-meal drink.

So, are they worth the calories?

Here’s the thing: I would love to split up the review into two different bottles, but it turns out that they taste almost the same.

I’m not a chocolate person, but on first sip, it’s almost identical to Milo, except that it’s much thicker. After a while, there’s a sticky milky aftertaste that lingers in my mouth, unlike Milo that goes down to my stomach immediately without any consequences except for the calories.

I tried a few more sips, but they still taste like Milo that has 2X the amount of condensed milk. There’s a bit of a nutty aftertaste to them, though they’re not obvious when you’re drinking them.

As I down them more, I can almost feel fats building up on my tummy, but anyways.

To ensure that I don’t have a tongue that cannot distinguish between salted egg yolk loaded fries and sour egg yolk loaded fries, I did a blind taste test, and guess what?

My colleague gave me a similar drink (pretty sure is to trick me) and I told her that one’s Mars and one’s Snickers.

We did the same trick on another colleague and the answer’s the same: either everyone in Goody Feed has tongue issues or the drinks simply taste the same.

Worth the Calories?

Unless you love iced Milo with extra condensed milk, these drinks might be a little overwhelming for you. Considering that they pack so many calories, I won’t suggest you to down two bottles at one go.

But if you’re a fan of those chocolate bars, they might be your baes.

For me? I’ll stick to bottled green tea, thank you very much.

Rating: 2/5

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George Yang
Email: [email protected]