Anybody remembers or knows this guy?
If you do, then you should remember this:
Or if you don’t, you are probably too young or missing out a part on comedy history: Seinfeld, an American sitcom classic.
So here’s the context for those that don’t know: George Constanza is generally quite a terrible human being. I’m talking about a (fictional) person being handicapped in order to get a job and personalised handicapped toilet, stealing an injured man’s girlfriend and removing his IV drip or faking his job in order to get dates or impress others.
But in this terrible human lies knowledge that forms the basis of human civilisation. I’m talking about toilets.
Not just any toilet, but the greatest of them all and where to find them. He even made millions from iToilet, a toilet finder app.
But toilet finder app is no longer fiction
Singapore only got to where we are today because of pristine toilets, so it’s a wonder how did we survive so long without knowing where to find the best toilets.
But it’s real. It’s finally here, brought to you by Restroom Association (Singapore): SGToilet.
Our office toilets aren’t that good, so if I ever found a secret poop throne, I’d travel far to have the smoothest, most comfortable poop. So I did the logical thing and went to search.
In case you can’t see: there are very few toilets in this area, and the nearest ones are orange coloured, marked as dots on the map. There are green coloured ones as well, but those are very far away.
For me, that meant dealing with shitty bathroom breaks is still part of my job.
Marked toilets have reviews and photos
Clicking on the dots will bring up this info card, with the address, a review based on a 6-star rating system, pictures, a share button and directions.
‘Share’ and ‘directions’ are straightforward. Clicking ‘share’ links to WhatsApp, Facebook or Twitter, or you can choose to copy link. ‘Directions’ open up Google Maps for you.
Pictures allow you to see inside the toilets (duh). It’s hard to find a human in these pictures, but they are always comprehensive for you to understand the size of the toilet, the shape of the urinals/toilet bowls, the designs of the toilet, and anything else you might need.
But it would appear that the site doesn’t support user reviews. So there’s probably at least one person moving around the island looking for the greatest toilets in Singapore right this moment.
Toilet inspectors are real
No, I’m actually not joking, in case you still think I made all that up. AsiaOne had an interview with Derek Cheung, a volunteer with the Restroom Association (Singapore) to conduct random spot checks at toilets.
So here’s what an investigator checks for:
- Clean entryway
- Working taps
- Good hand dryers so people will “flick less water”
- Toilet paper dispensers are replenished
- Flushing systems and locks working
- Clean toilet bowls
- Stains and odour
It’s not easy to get 6 stars, since the ones around my area are only 3 stars, and even the green ones are 4 stars. Where do we find 6 starred toilets? It would appear that is only found at Marina Bay Sands.
Australia’s version is Government sponsored
As the app description says: “The National Public Toilet Map is funded by the Australian Government Department of Health as part of the National Continence Program to assist the estimated 4.8 million Australians affected by continence issues.”
So now that you know where to find the good toilets… Happy pooping.
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