#TuesdayTruthday: Goody Feed Human Beings Reveal The First Time They Got Drunk

By
Shawn Ambrose
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We all agree that the Internet is filled with nothing but truthfulness: that influencer whom you’ve been stalking definitely looks like a diva 24 hours a day, and travel 365 days a year.

Your friend is in a great relationship because he’s been posting lovey-dovey images on Instagram, despite the fact that you saw him on Tinder this morning.

With so many people having such a perfect image online, we thought of having a weekly section called #TuesdayTruthday, whereby we Goody Feed, the imperfect human beings on the Internet, reveal some of our stories to show you the truth online.

And for this Tuesday, we’re focusing on something most of us have experienced: getting drunk.

Ah, alcohol. When you had your first drink, you probably wondered why anyone would voluntarily drink such a disgusting beverage.

But then, a few minutes later, you realize why; the high hits, and you feel like your brain has turned into a cloud.

This glorious drink has the power to bring sunshine to the gloomiest of days.

But it also has the power to make you throw up everything inside you, including your vital organs.

If we Goody Feed beings seem like sad losers who spend most of their days banging keys on laptops because we have no social life, well, that’s because it’s true.

Image: Giphy

But, believe it or not, we’ve also experienced the wonders and pitfalls of drinking.

Here are three stories about the first time we got drunk:

The One Who Followed A Stranger Home – Writer, 22

The first time I got drunk was the first time I ever drank alcohol. I think most people can agree. My two best friends had plans to go to a club that night and had asked me along. I disagreed at first because I’d never gone clubbing before or drank a sip of alcohol. In the end, I relented. It was ladies night so we had free-flow drinks at this particular club. 

I had my first taste of Gin & Tonic. I drank countless glasses that night and I remember yelling, “How do you know when you’re drunk?!?!?!” over the thumping beat of the music. That night, I had around 7-8 glasses. Unfortunately, no one told me that sometimes, it hits late. And hit me it did. I was inebriated by around 1-2am. The music sounded elevated and the lights were wonky in my high af state.

I recall 3 ang moh guys trying to dance with us. We were like ew no and ran to the toilet and hid inside. Unfortunately, they were waiting outside for us. At one point, my friend’s phone fell onto the floor and we didn’t even realise till 5-10 minutes later. That’s when you know you’re drunk af. By then we were clambering on our hands and knees on the jam PACKED dance floor trying to find the phone. Luckily we found it. 

Later, my friend bumped into this girl she had met online who was from the States. There was another guy with her. They were apparently here on a work trip and had an ‘after party’ at the guy’s condo and asked if we wanted to come. 

My mom always told me not to trust strangers. Drunk me didn’t get the f***ing memo. We got into a cab with him even when there were several warning signs. For starters, all his other colleagues were nowhere in sight, even after reaching his apartment. He tried to serve us drinks back at his home (yes we followed him in cause he kept reassuring us the others were coming and we would have breakfast in the swimming pool LOL). After 20 minutes we ran the fuck out of the house!!!!! P.S. he’s a big scary African-American man and he was angry when we told him we wanted to leave. 

I’m so glad that nothing happened that night and something much worse could’ve. Looking back I would like to ask myself what the f*** was I thinking LOL.

The One Who Puked Into A Claypot – Writer, 21

The first time I got drunk, I was with my brother and his friends. I previously had occasional drinks but I’ve never gotten drunk because I always heard a lot of horror stories about people getting really drunk. So I told myself that I would never ever want to experience that.

Fast forward to that night when my brother and his friends asked me to come along with them to drink. I finally turned legal and seeing as to how I was pretty close to my brother then, he invited me along to drink with a couple of his friends. I knew they were a fun bunch because I’ve hung out with them before, so I figured, why not?

So we got ready and we headed down to a bar to drink. It was just the four of us initially, and we ordered one beer tower. We finished that and I was still feeling okay. And then we ordered another tower because another one of our friends was going to join us. So as we waited, we played drinking games and made one another drink every time we lost. 

I vaguely remember it being about 1am when our friend arrived and because he was late, he ordered a round of tequila shots for all of us.

Ahh… Tequila… You either love it or hate it. There’s no in-between. 

My brother passed one on to me and told me to try it. Now I’ve heard my fair share of stories about how bad tequila tastes, so I was really hesitant about trying it, but with my brother egging me on and telling me to just drink it, I did. 

It was okay, but I didn’t like the taste. We continued to drink and we decided that we should go to a club, but not before ordering another pint of beer each.

When we got to the club, I was already feeling a little tipsy. It was weird and it was my first time experiencing something like that, so I didn’t exactly know what to expect. We danced to the beats of the music and drank more. That’s when my brother suddenly passes me a shot of absinthe. 

And for some reason, we all clinked glasses and drank up. That was when I started feeling really tipsy. Nevertheless, I soldiered on because no way was I going to be the one to say that we should head home. So we proceeded to have supper at the Bak Ku Teh restaurant.

I was having a really bad headache and rested my head on the table. Even though the food was already here, I couldn’t bring myself to eat it, so the rest ate while I rested. I’m not sure how long I was out for because when I woke up, I had this really queasy feeling and gestured to my brother on my left that I needed to throw up. My friend on my right immediately pushed his empty rice bowl to me and I emptied my stomach out into the bowl. When it was pretty much full, my friend yelled, “STOP”. And funnily enough, I did. 

He switched out the filled bowl for the big claypot and said “Okay now go” and I continued my puking spree. 

I’m so glad that they had already had their supper because I don’t think anyone would have the appetite after seeing that. It was so embarrassing, but our friends cheered me up and told me that it was alright.

I thought they wouldn’t call me along for drinks the next time, but they did and till this day, they still occasionally bring it up just so that we can all have a good laugh about it, especially my brother. 

The One Who Drank Whiskey Like Beer – Deputy Editor 27

The first time I got drunk was also the first time I threw up in front of strangers.

My friends and I had just finished our exams and we wanted to celebrate by trying alcohol for the first time.

Now, none of us knew anything about portions when it comes to certain alcohols. In fact, we knew nothing at all, we were dumb kids. We assumed that everyone drank whiskey and vodka the same way they drank beer.

This was a mistake. A yuge, yuge mistake.

Image: Giphy

So, we went to a restaurant armed with three bottles of whiskey, ready to have a good time. But instead of pouring a little whiskey and mixing it with a drink like a normal person, we drank entire glasses of it at one go.

Image: Giphy

As you can probably imagine, our stomachs were not pleased.

After about 45 minutes and five full glasses of alcohol, I was not doing too well, to say the least. I felt like my body wanted to expel every single drop of liquid in my body and my head was spinning faster than a ballerina on cocaine.

But, of course, as a teenager, the only thing that mattered to me was the admiration of my peers.

So I pretended like I was fine and everything was Randy Dandy. But my mouth soon showed otherwise.

As we were exiting the restaurant, about to call a cab, my body gave up trying to be cool and was like f*ck this sh*t, I’m done.

Like a surfer in the sea, I felt the wave coming, a strong wave of vomit rushing up through my esophagus ready to pollute the entire street.

Not wanting to dirty the streets of Singapore, I quickly ran to a longkang and emptied my body of all whiskey, food, and dignity.

My friends laughed, but all ended up throwing up sometime later.

After that incident, I vowed never to drink alcohol again.

But then I drank vodka with the same friends a week later. Thankfully though, I didn’t throw up that time.

Watch this for a complete summary of what REALLY happened to Qoo10, and why it's like a K-drama:

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Shawn Ambrose
Email: [email protected]