Domestic abuse cases happen under our noses more often than we think, and it’s sad when someone doesn’t have enough power to fight back.
It’s for the sake of the children, for the sake of everyone’s well-being, for a better future – these are often things survivors tell themselves to get through it.
Thankfully, some manage to escape that hellhole – everyone deserves to.
Abused Wife Leaves Husband For Good
Years and years of torment and abuse have now come to an end for Lyly, a Vietnamese bride of only 30 years young, who finally managed to leave her Singaporean husband.
Lyly, which is not her real name, suffered from her husband’s abuse every time he became angry or drunk after losing at gambling.
The driver in his 60s failed to provide for the family and never gave them money.
When Lyly asked him for some to spend on family expenses, he would always say, “You need money for what? To give to another man?”
He even left Lyly and their six-year-old son without buying them food for an entire week, causing Lyly to become desperate after they finished everything that could possibly be eaten at home.
She called the police then, feeling helpless as she didn’t “know where the market is, where the bus stop is.”
“I have no money and I have no friends,” she said.
At least three separate times, she fled to a crisis shelter along with her son, but would always find herself returning to her husband after he promised to change.
However, those were simply empty promises for the leopard did not change his spots and continued to hit her.
Until one day, where she decided that enough was enough.
Everything changed when she met lawyer June Lim through the crisis shelter, who helped her with the divorce proceedings for free.
Lyly managed to gain sole custody of her son, who she says has been severely affected by the violence and is scared of his own father.
After the divorce proceedings, her ex-husband then cancelled her long-term visit pass. However, a kind church friend of hers is sponsoring her pass so that she can continue to stay here, where she now works as a kitchen assistant.
“If not for everyone helping me, I wouldn’t know what to do,” she expressed her gratefulness.
Free Legal Aid For Foreign Spouses
Widowed or divorced foreign spouses are generally able to remain in Singapore on a long-term visit pass to care for their children until they turn 21, said a spokesman from the Ministry of Home Affairs (MHA).
That is, if they have joint or sole custody of their child and are granted care and control of the child, who can live with them. Parents can take care of them this way.
They can also be sponsored by another Singaporean or permanent resident of above 21 years old to stay here in Singapore. The child can also do so for their parents too once they are of age, subject to the prevailing sponsorship criteria.
As such, the Law Society Pro Bono Services believes that it is important for the government to publicise their stance on the immigration status of foreign spouses post-divorce or widowing.
This is because many foreign wives tend to “suffer in silence” out of fear that their husbands would cancel their long-term visit pass and send them back to their countries without their children, as they tend to threaten.
Foreign spouses’ ability to remain in Singapore is also a key consideration as to whether they can gain custody of their child in the case of transnational families.
Ms June Lim, who’s also managing director of Eden Law Corporation, set up an initiative called Project Leaf (Legal Empowerment and Assistance for Foreign Spouses) together with the Law Society Pro Bono Services in December 2018.
They offer free legal aid to foreign spouses based off a certain criteria, such as if their household per capita income is only $950 a month or less.
Foreign spouses with Singaporean children are an especially vulnerable group, for they are usually dependent on their spouses and have nowhere to turn to in the case of sour marriages or domestic abuse.
In the real case that their spouses terminate their long-term visit pass, they may be sent back to their countries.
It’s especially dangerous if “they have Singaporean children, who will either be uprooted from the country or separated from their mothers, who are usually the primary caregivers.”
Furthermore, most of them don’t have money for lawyers as they don’t qualify under legal aid schemes due to not being Singaporean or a permanent resident.
They usually look for someone to sponsor their long-term visit pass from charities and religious groups amongst other groups as they don’t have Singaporean friends.
The project now falls under the Family Justice Support Scheme where Singaporeans and permanent residents who just barely fail to meet the Legal Aid Bureau’s requirements are offered aid with regards to matrimonial matters.
If you’re suffering from domestic abuse and would like to report it, you may call the police or seek help from the National Anti-Violence Helpline at 1800-777-0000.
Featured Image: Doidam 10 / Shutterstock.com
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