Weddings are supposed to be happy occasions.
Key word being “supposed” here.
For one unfortunate female member in a company, however, it turned out to be disaster because the majority of her colleagues declined her wedding invitation.
The Tale of Frustration
Recently, a female staff of a company in China complained about her wedding experience on a business forum.
She said that she sent out wedding invites to her colleagues two months prior to her wedding.
She related that she was quite tangled about the colleagues she should invite to wedding because she has been working in the company for five years; at least one-third of her colleagues have pooled together their money to give them a wedding gift (份子; fen zi) and she has decent relations with other colleagues.
Fen zi can also just be money that is given during a huge occasion, like after a birth of a child, weddings, or even funerals; an event where your own wealth might not be sufficient, and other people contribute to help.
If she were to only limit her invitations to those who have contributed to the wedding gift, she was afraid that the others would feel displeased, so she decided to send an invitation to the whole company.
It has to be said that people may reject a wedding invitation for multiple reasons, like having another appointment that day, finding it inappropriate because of the need to make a monetary contribution, or they didn’t find it comfortable attending.
However, she could never have expected that out of 70 colleagues, only one of them would attend her actual wedding.
Worse, it was the junior she mentored.
Not only did she waste six tables worth of food and drinks, but she also lost her face in front of her relatives and close friends.
In a fit of rage, she tendered her resignation immediately.
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Upon reading the woman’s experience, a few netizens left their own comments.
The first comment read, “If it were me, I would resign too, because I really don’t have the face to continue working at the company. Given that only one attended out of 70, it’s evident that you have interpersonal relationship problems. You thought that everyone got along cohesively, but that’s just your assumption.
“It’s understandable if you said that a portion of [your colleague] didn’t want to fork out some wedding money. But you’re saying everyone is like that, and it’s really hard to believe that. If everyone in your company is like this, you might as well break off your contact with them.”
It is a tad bit harsh to call out the original poster for being a loner, but the logic seems sound.
Another person advised that the female staff should have gone about her wedding invitations more discreetly. They wrote: “If it were me, I’d send the invitation to those I’m close to in private, lest they start feeling negative because of the other colleagues. It can be observed that your EQ is worrying.
“Furthermore, as a female colleague, it’s possible that you might resign due to your pregnancy to become a full-time mother. No one’s money drops from the sky, and your ‘widely casted net’ will probably make people feel like you’re trying to earn more wedding money. Not attending is reasonable.”
Others remarked that she should have consulted her colleagues first before handing out the invitations to those that were certain they could attend.
In any case, the lesson learnt here is, always confirm your guest list first before deciding on the number of tables needed. One table of guests missing is a mistake, whereas six empty tables is a serious oversight in planning.
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