10 Relationship Advices You Really Shouldn’t Listen To

Relationships have its ups and downs. There is no “perfect relationship”, sorry to burst your bubble. You face challenges as you grow together as a couple, two individuals working together as a team.

Sometimes you guys fight and your friends might throw in some comments here and there to cheer you up. However, is every advice you get a constructive one? Here’s some of them you shouldn’t listen to because it will only make things worse. 


1. ‘If You’re Unavailable, They’ll Want You More’

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As much as a relationship should involve some level of enticement, the answer to keeping things interesting isn’t to act distant. Acting like you completely don’t need your partner will only prolong the distance that is growing between the both of you. You’re in a relationship, love shouldn’t be a game of catching. 


2. ‘Long-Distance Relationship Won’t Work Out’

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Indeed, I won’t deny how tough it is to keep a LDR going. But hey, doesn’t mean that it won’t work out. If the other party is someone you’ve decided to spend your whole life with, anything would be worth the fight. With the advancement in technology, you don’t have to send a letter and wait forever just to get his/her reply. Don’t let anyone change your opinion! 


3.  ‘It is better to be loved than to love’

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When we get into a relationship, we might expect our partner to meet our needs all the time. Nope, it’s impossible to work things out if it is a one way traffic. Love should be received and reciprocated, you should both love and be loved to have fulfilling relationship.

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4. ‘You can change a man into the version you want’

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You shouldn’t be with someone just to change them into your ideal partner. It defeats the purpose of getting together, you should be with them for who they already are. Isn’t what attracted you to them in the first place? 


5.  ‘Give your partner signs that you are unhappy’ 

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I’m pretty sure your partner can’t read minds, no matter how much he/she understands you. Don’t be passive agressive! Be clear with what you want and what you need. Communicate clearly and sensitively – that is the only way your partner will know how you feel. 


6. ‘It’s OK To Snoop Every Once In A While’

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Hold up for a second! Snooping on your partner is not only an invasion of their privacy, it also shows how much you trust them. If you suspect something is wrong, it isn’t viable to try every single number combo just to get into his messaging apps. Try talking with your SO first! Sometimes, your worries might be completely unwarranted. 


7. ‘Don’t have such high standards’

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It’s perfectly fine if you have high standards! The whole point of having standards is so that you know what you want and you don’t settle for anything less than that. When the right person comes along, you’ll know it. 


8. ‘Make Him/Her Jealous’

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Whenever you’re having problems in your relationship, the answer is never (I repeat, never) to manipulate your partner’s emotions. Jealousy won’t get you anywhere, in fact, it only makes matters worse. Talk things out! Communication is key, my friend.

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9. ‘Just Break Up, You Guys Always Fight’

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Sometimes when our friends see us constantly fighting with our SO, they might see it as a sign that the relationship ain’t healthy. However, some couples have the tendency to fight things out to resolve conflicts. Everyone has different styles, really. It doesn’t mean that it is toxic when they are fighting. They might be fighting over something worthwhile. 


10. ‘Just Do It, He/She Won’t Find out About It Anyway”

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There are friends who encourage you to do stuff behind your partner’s back. Stuff like “he won’t find out anyway” is really a roll-eye situation. We know our partner best, to hide things from them will only create more trouble into our relationships. 


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Vanessa Ong

Vanessa Ong

An eighteen-year-old girl who is fond of words and the wonders of the world. Perpetually lost in her own thoughts, easily excitable and appreciates a great deal of humour.
Vanessa Ong