Last Updated on 2016-05-19 , 1:54 pm
In Singapore, everything is about face: everyone wants to drive the biggest car, lives in the biggest house and has a bank account that has as many zeroes as possible. There are some who have achieved these through hard work, and there are many who have not, yet still tell the world about his big car, his big house and his big investment.
They’re called 大炮仙, and they’re everywhere. The thing is, it’s not easy to spot one at first impression: but it’s easy once you know these ways!
He’ll ask you about your job and then feedback like he’s a pro
It doesn’t matter what job he’s doing: if you’re in the shipping industry, he’ll start to tell you about his knowledge of ships, and then go on to tell you that your industry is “dead”. For all you know, he’s working as a computer engineer.
He’ll hint you to ask him about his job
You know, when all you ask is about the weather, he’ll say things like, “I’ve been trying so hard to acquire this business that can provide real-time weather updates. What do you think?” Remember, he’s not seeking for your feedback: he wants you to ask him about his job.
He’ll put all branded things on the table
Whether it’s his LV wallet or his Mercedes key, he’ll make sure you can see them. It’s more obvious than Captain Obvious.
He’ll talk non-stop about himself
Self-explanatory, isn’t it? These 大炮仙 are usually so insecure that they have to talk about themselves—always.
He wants you to see his car, his house and his investments
…and usually, that car is his parents’, the house is a Google image and his investments are merely blue chips that everyone with $1,000 can buy.
He’s always trying to be “motivational” and “inspiring”
You know, telling you that “you should seize the day” and “it’s all a matter of how to, not how can”? Yeah. The real successful ones keep these motivational quotes to themselves, because why would they need to motivate others?
He’s always telling you how busy he is with work
The last I know, anyone who is too overwhelmed with work and working 24 hours a day is one who either bullshits, or cannot manage his priorities well.
He’ll tell you about his life even when you didn’t ask him
Ah-ha, this is the best telltale sign. He’ll just go on and on and on and on about his achievements, when all you want is just to makan and know the price of the bill.
He’ll talk more than he does things
You know, telling you how rich he is, and unable to pay for dinner? Yeah.
He’ll be overdressed
Because how can one be a 大炮仙 without dressing like one?
He’ll get defensive when you ask genuine questions about his “achievements”
For example, when he told you he drove a Mercedes SLK and you asked him how much the insurance premium is, he would get angry and said he didn’t know. Well, in the first place, he didn’t even own it, why would he know? And he got angry because you’ve just indirectly exposed him, you naughty boy.
Top Image: Tom Saga / Shutterstock.com
Over in TikTok, there’s a drama involving property agents that’s caused by us. Here’s what happened:
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