Lifestyle

10 New Year’s Resolutions That 99% Of S’poreans Would Have Failed This Year

2017-12-21 , 10:26 am

It is almost the end of 2017, and I am in a dire need of an introspective lunch, looking back at this year’s mistakes and achievements.

Though there is not much for the latter.

Like just any pathetic millennial, I will pen down my New Year’s resolutions in hopes that 2018 will be the year where I would break free from my self-created problems.

With that said, I foresee myself bringing my 2012 problems to 2018, just like this year.

But that isn’t going to stop me (or you) from trying.

But to increase my success rate next year, I am going to write down 10 New Year’s resolutions that all of us (99.9%) have failed this year.

Let’s not set ourselves up for disappointment next year.

1) Getting fit

January is the time where gyms are packed with people, all trying to lose their holiday weight.

That burning motivation dims as months fly by. You catch yourself missing your gym session for the 54th time.

If you’re really serious about this, you should pace yourself before diving into it deep. You will avoid feeling burned out and you would be able to sustain this healthy lifestyle for months on end.

2) Quit smoking

I catch myself in this predicament every December, wanting to give my lungs and heart a permanent rest.

But by the first week, I am on edge and catch myself chain smoking after 6 days of not smoking.

I can’t think of a practical solution for this one.

3) Widen your social circle

Social media can sometimes be a total buzzkill when you are bombarded with pictures of engagements and weddings on your newsfeed.

So you tell yourself, come next year, I will be a social butterfly, hopping from one party to another.

Don’t set yourself up for disaster, I tried doing it this year, the only hopping I did was from one bar to another—tipsy but most importantly, happy.

If its meant to happen it will happen. Don’t force anything.

4) No more alcohol

If you enjoy a cocktail or two on the regular, like me, then you would know how hard is it to give up alcohol completely.

But I had this sudden revelation two years back when I woke up at two in the afternoon after a night of heavy partying.

I was feeling dehydrated af and there was an empty packet of chips beside me.

Was I successful?

NO.

5) Stop cursing

I have a very colourful vocabulary, to say the least, and it is hard not to curse like a sailor when you’re surrounded by incompetent people.

You feel me?

If you’re trying to stop cursing, maybe you should have a swear jar.

So every time you curse, you put a dollar and by Dec 2018, you will be able to afford a short getaway to Bali, far enough from the incompetent halfwits who made this resolution impossible to achieve.

6) Eating clean

“New year, new me”, you catch yourself muttering this tacky mantra under your breath when the lord tries to test you.

You told yourself that this is the year where you will nourish your body with whole, natural food coz’ your body is a temple and it only deserves the best.

But by February, you’ve already ditched your “eat clean” diet for a more fulfilling diet—”eat dirty”.

Don’t be upset, that sheer pleasure of chowing down some crispy bacon is worth risking a heart-attack.

7) Social media cleanse

Everyone is guilty of phubbing, you’re either the victim or the perpetrator or both.

Funny isn’t it, the one device that helps you connect with other people essentially disconnects you from the people around you.

But in this day and age, it is impossible to not use your phone when you’re out.

I mean, did you really go out and have that amazing burger, if you didn’t take a photo?

8) Save money

I never understood this concept—save money for a rainy day.

Umm, whoever came up with that idiom is an idiot who has never heard of an umbrella.

What are we saving for?

The money saved eventually gets spent.

I am just cutting out the middleman and of course, I am a firm believer of the “treat yourself” philosophy.

9) Help others

If you have a roof over your head, you’re richer than 75% of the world.

But it is hard to see that when you have spent 90% of your pay in the first week of the month.

But I do think this resolution is doable. Instead of donating, we can volunteer.

We are donating our time and time is money!

10) Learn a new skill

Life is all about improving yourself. But how does one learn a new language or a skill when there are only 24 hours in a day?

If you’re a bum like me who spends hours on their bed literally doing nothing, I’ve got a life hack for you.

Simply use Google to learn something new!

There you have it, 10 New Year’s resolutions that you have epically failed this year.

I did throw in some life hacks if you’re willing to have a go at it this year.

Since you’re here, why not watch a video about a guy who lodged a Police report here in Singapore because he was friendzoned? Seriously. Here, watch it and do remember to share it (and also subscribe to Goody Feed YouTube channel)!

This article was first published on goodyfeed.com