Laughs

10 Realest Differences Between a Hipster and a Human

2016-09-06 , 4:36 pm

Last Updated on 2018-02-23 , 11:04 am

Before that, here’s some context: in Urban Dictionary, hipsters “are a subculture of men and women typically in their 20’s and 30’s that value independent thinking, counter-culture, progressive politics, an appreciation of art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter.”

And in the same Urban Dictionary, humans “are a fictional race of Argonimorphic apes, presented in books, movies, tales and in the real life. Humans are warm-blooded, soft-skinned, flat-faced, ugly mammals, who tent (sic) to make things that are beautiful ugly.”

Well, now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s look at the ten real differences between a hipster and a human.

Hipsters go hipster cafes; humans go Kopitiam

That’s precisely the reason why hanging out with a hipster is fun and adventurous; you get to go different places every day, because café-hopping yo. Price isn’t important; ambience (preferably Instagram-worthy) is.

Humans go to the same Kopitiam, order the same kopi-o kosong and KPKB when there’s a ten-cent price increase.

Hipsters go for trending food; humans go for food

Ask a hipster what food is trending and he’ll go, “This month’s trend or last month’s trend?”

Ask a human what food is trending and it’ll be the same for 30 years: cai png.

Hipsters listen to indie songs; humans listen to the radio

To a hipster, finding a mainstream song in his playlist is a sin; he must always be on the lookout for the latest indie songs, and ensure that everyone knows he supports indie music.

To a human, he is still listening to “My Heart Will Go On”.

Hipsters are willing to pay $10 for a cup of coffee; humans won’t even buy coffee

To a hipster, it’s never about the caffeine; it’s all about the style, and how Instagram-worthy the coffee must be. Or cake. Or whatever that is trending now.

Humans just consume coffee to keep awake, and most of their coffee are free from the office.

Hipsters take selfie every few minutes; humans take a shower every few hours

You know the front-facing camera of our phones? They’re not for humans. They’re for hipsters. A human sometimes thinks that the small hole on the front of the phone is a speaker.

Hipsters are willing to travel just for food; humans call Foodpanda

Hipsters take all opportunity to find the hidden place for the Instagram-worthy food that might taste like shit, and they’re willing to queue for hours just for one image.

Foodpanda is invented for humans.

Hipsters wear the hippest clothes; human wears shorts and slippers

To a hipster, it’s a sin to wear shorts and slippers because an Instagram-worthy background might just appear anytime. They must always be prepared.

Humans, given a choice, might not even want to wear anything at all.

Hipsters’ nights are filled with beautiful dinners and amazing cafes; humans’ night are filled with sleep

You’ll never catch a hipster sleeping early, because to be one, you need to have makan-ed in places that are only open at night.

Humans just do what dogs do at night: sleep.

Hipsters can tell immediately when a person is a hipster; humans often think other humans are dogs

Hipsters are a group of happy people, and put many hipsters together, they’ll hip the night away.

Humans see the world as a human-eat-human dog-eat-dog world. Sort of.

Hipsters have more followers in Instagram than Facebook; humans don’t even know what Instagram is

Image: Denys Prykhodov / Shutterstock.com

To a hipster, Instagram is life.

To a human, he’s still trying to log in to Facebook with his Friendster username and password.

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This article was first published on goodyfeed.com

Featured Image: AndyPhotoStudio / Shutterstock.com