A Useful List of the Correct Terms to Address Your Relatives this CNY


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Last Updated on 2020-01-10 , 3:37 pm

Chinese New Year is fast approaching, and you know what that means:

It’s time for… awkward meet-and-greets with your long-lost (?) relatives!

But you know something even more mortifying than having different relatives asking you whether you’re attached / had your first time yet?

What, you wonder. Isn’t that like the… worst?

Well, apparently… it’s not. In my opinion, the worst thing that could happen is when you’ve no idea how to address them. Or even worse: addressing them by the wrong term.

Here’s a brief scenario to highlight just how scary the notion could be.

*Random auntie or uncle approaches you. You clench your fists and butt and force a smile*

Random Relative: Wa, so big liao ah?

You: Huh, what is – oh… oh yeah, yeah hahahahahaha *looking at your mum to save you. She laughs at you and continues stuffing her mouth with pineapple tarts*

Dat b-

*Random relative pulls out an ang pow from nowhere and smiles. Your forced a smile, in turn also becomes a genuine one*

You: Thanks Great Auntie! May you be blessed with many children and your oranges never rot!

*Almost instantaneously, her faces changes*

For dramatic effect. Image: Giphy

*Time seems to come to a standstill. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot your mum looking absolutely horrified with a pineapple tart in her ear. Your dad’s standing at the toilet’s entrance with his pants still down, toilet paper in hand. Your sister’s choking on a cup of water*

Random Relative: But I’m not your Great Auntie…


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*Things finally click in your head*

You: Oh shi-

The correct terms to address your relatives this CNY

To avoid that scenario, I’ve slogged 3 days and 3 nights to draft up the ultimate CNY name-calling guidebook. With 21 chapters and more than 1,000 pages, this guidebook’s all you need this CNY…

Boss: Oi, don’t use our name to scam people eh! That’s in the past; we are now damn legit you know!

What, Boss? How are you here? I haven’t even saved this draft yet!


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Boss: Who do you think I am? I am the Boss leh. THE BOSS. Of course I can tell lah!

WTF-

Alright so maybe didn’t prep it. And maybe it doesn’t actually come with 21 chapters and 1,000 pages.

But still, trust me when I say that this… is all you need this CNY.

You can thank me later.

Image: YES 933 Facebook page

Courtesy of a 13-year-old Cayden, the family tree was posted on YES 933’s Facebook page last year, and has garnered over 750 shares to date. A testament to its effectiveness, I’m sure.


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So now that you have all the knowledge you need.

If the image is too small for you, tap here to go to the image and save it, and then zoom in all you want.

What if I still don’t know who is who?

Well, erm… then you’ll be well-advised to stick to your parents or siblings 24/7, even to the toilet. After all, you never know where a wild relative could be hiding, just waiting to spring a red packet on you.

Alternatively, you can follow this gentleman’s advice:

Image: YES 933 Facebook Page

Translation:


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This isn’t important; I don’t even know who is who ~ the most convenient thing to do is just to call everyone Uncle/ Aunty.

And I agree; playing by ear never fails to work.

Unless you call your 18-year-old cousin Grandmother la.

Then something’s wrong liao.