Submissions, Author at Goody Feed

Unlike kopitiams, cafes, and shopping centres that sprout all over Singapore like mushrooms, shops selling adult toys are far from many. Although you can find quite a number in Geylang (besides it being a red-light district, Geylang is rather big) located along dingy alleys or wedged between two convenience stores, such shops can be found openly in Bugis or along Orchard road (at least to my knowledge). Some of you might have entered one out of curiosity or were dared into entering one to prove your guts. Some might have bought a product for personal use or to embarrass a friend. But how many has worked in one? I did. I've Worked in One Before, and I'm Not Exactly Ashamed to Tell People about it Do I dare tell others that I had worked in an adult shop? If asked, I would answer, or else it would be the Singaporean cultural default practice of "don't ask, don't tell". There isn't anything embarrassing for me to hide, though some of the products there can really make me damn paiseh. For a while, I was a copywriter and my job was to use words to make the featured product more attractive to the taste of men, both straight and otherwise. My Job Requires Me to Test the Products To help me in my writing, my boss allowed me to interact with the product. This means touching, rubbing, squeezing, poking, probing, and even sniffing it. Then I will need to imagine myself using it to be able to describe the level of satisfaction, enjoyment and euphoria. Otherwise, there is no way I can convince customers of the product's prowess. Frankly, things were rather awkward initially because I would furtively glance around before entering the shop but after a week, the place, toys, and other objects simply appear normal. To me, that is. Then, I Had to Sell Them to Customers Of course, I was also tasked to function as a salesperson and answer product queries and make recommendations to customers. Here is where the real challenge begins: Writing is one thing but sales are a whole different alien universe to me. To make things worse, my first customer was a Singaporean Chinese man and he was looking for a specific item and his description left me looking wide-eyed with shock. It was big, black, double-ended, and weighs 15kg. Anyway, besides my first customer, I had the privilege of recommending leather, chains, chips, vibrators, and others to various types of people of varying demographics and preferences. The Type of People Who Enter My Shop Will Change Your View of Singaporeans Some shoppers would walk in brazenly and without a care in the world, others would attempt to enter sneakily as though afraid of being discovered by relatives and friends. Once in, people seem to lose all inhibition and explore the shelves with great interest, though I could usually hear them whispering "oh god!". Often, clients are allowed to test the operations of a device or feel the texture of a product but there are some that allow neither due to hygiene purposes. One of the few things I had learned from my stint there is that adult toys don't come cheap and quite a bit of science, human biology, design, research, and entrepreneurship goes into the production of one. Featured Image: Wirestock Creators / Shutterstock.com

Submissions

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