When You Complain To Your Friend, This Is What You’re Really Doing To Yourself

Everyone already knows that being a complainer (and whiny one to boot), is a very unattractive quality. Nothing good ever comes out of complaining be it about your life, relationship, work, studies, finances etc. Ever.

It’s okay to express how you feel about an issue you are currently facing in life but complaining about it is a different story. Especially when you complain to your friend, know that you’re not actually doing yourself any good. In fact, it does more harm than you think.

Exaggeration of the problem
So what are you really doing to yourself when you complain to your friend? Well very often, the situation is played out to be much worse than it actually is in reality.

People who complain a lot to their friends tend to exaggerate the situation here and there for special effect, or in other words, make their problem more dramatic to get support and pity from their friends. They want to make it seem like they are the victim of the situation which is tragically annoying, really. (Trust me, I have friends like that).

By doing this, you really want your friends to take your side and make sure they place the blame on another party, just like you.

However, that’s not going to make your problem go away, is it? Sure they will side you but that’s all it really is at the end of the day. The problem you are facing will still come back knocking on your door, probably five times bigger than it was and that thing will seriously put you in your place unless you do something about it.

You focus on the wrong thing
You are practically blinding yourself from the solution when you complain because you only focus on the problem which probably isn’t as huge as you make it out to be. Problems arise and don’t go away because people don’t find meaningful ways to solve them. And blaming other people doesn’t help one bit either.

If you really want to be at peace and rid yourself of the problem, reflect on the situation first before opening your mouth to complain about it.

An essential question you should ask instead of complaining
Ask yourself, why did the problem arise in the first place and is it so terrible that there’s no way at all of fixing it? There’s a saying that goes, ‘where there’s a will, there’s a way’. And the best way is to handle your problem professionally like the grown adult you are—Not being a whiny kid.

Top Image: Pepsco Studio / Shutterstock.com

This article was first published on goodyfeed.com

A Bornean girl who starves for magic and craves adventure. Loves poetry, wine, animals and cat naps. An amateur writer determined to bring world peace!