The other day, my shitty friend Poopmaster96 was telling me all about the power of faeces, and how they can tell stories.
“They can show you so many things,” he drawled, his eyes widening. “Mark my words, they’ll prove vital to saving the world one day.”
“I think you’ve been watching too many shitty parodies of Avengers,” I replied. I noticed a brown smear near the edge of his forehead, and wondered whether I should tell him about it. “You’re way too obsessed with faeces, man.”
“I’m just telling you; they’re the best thing since sliced bread.”
Suffice it to say, I swept his advice under the toilet, right where it belongs. Surely he’s just bullshitting, I thought.
I mean, there’s no way it can be true, right?
Faeces Could Be Used to Track Coronavirus Spread; Some Experts Calling to Trace Faeces
As I would later come to find out, my friend Poopmaster96 wasn’t entirely wrong with his full-assed prediction:
Faeces do tell stories…
About diseases in particular.
Now, lest you’re unaware, the world has been pretty busy lately, what with the Triple Threat of 2020:
- The Covid-19 outbreak, which has killed thousands around the world
- Kim Jong Un’s ill, ‘possibly vegetative’ condition post-surgery, and his assumed successor to the throne, which could be his sister Kim Jo-Yong
- Show Luo’s infidelity, which has awoken the ire of Grace Chow’s hell-bent army
And while researchers can’t exactly do much about the second and third bullet points, they can do something about the first one…
With faeces, no less.
Researchers across the world have actually been tracing the spread of Covid-19 through wastewater and sewage systems since the dawn of the epidemic.
Apparently, the clear presence of the virus was detectable through patients’ stools, as attested to by previous scientific studies conducted amidst the first outbreak in China.
As such, testing of human sewage has enabled the tracking of the pandemic’s spread, and could potentially act as an early warning system for a second wave of infections.
Considering how the majority of Coronavirus cases have little or no symptoms, wastewater testing could signify the emergence of the virus even before the first clinical cases are confirmed in areas untouched by the pandemic.
This would allow barrier measures to be implemented, in a bid to stall off the effects of the virus. As it will take a while to develop a vaccination of the virus, time’s considered to be of the utmost importance in the current epidemic.
Incidentally, such a system has proved effective against other diseases before.
Back in 2013, polio was detected in wastewater in Israel; this gave the relevant authorities time to prepare a vaccination campaign, which led to zero children being paralysed by the disease.
But Wait… What About The Health Risks?
After all, there are rumours that the virus is airborne. Wouldn’t effluent of this degree prove hazarduous to the population?
To that end, Luca Lucentini, water quality director at the Italian Institute Superior of Health (ISS), has insisted that the discoveries pose “no risk” to public health. Apparently, the presence of the virus in faeces does not mean that it’s transmittable through them.
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However, researchers have warned that even so, being exposed to effluent can possibly warrant a “health risk”. But in light of recent circumstances…
It might be for a greater cause.
Meanwhile, drinking water in countries that instil strict treatment procedures is considered safe for consumption, so no worries about NEWater and whatnot.
Though drinking filtered water does leave a queer taste in my mouth, if you catch my drift.
A Tool For Surveillance
While wastewater studies in several countries are admittedly still at an early stage, scientists are enthusiastic about their potential.
“It could be used as an early warning tool for pandemic surveillance,” Dr Warish Ahmed, of the Australian public research agency CSIRO, told AFP. It could also be a key indicator to know whether lockdown, as well as other measures, were functioning well.
With that said, calls have been made for the World Health Organisation to implement a global wastewater virus detection network.
The network will not only be useful for countries with no “technical or logistic means to test the carriers”, but also assist in the resistance against other killer diseases beyond the likes of Covid-19.
And there you have it folks. Faeces, smelly excretions that slide out of a human’s butthole…
Might well prove to be a vital defense mechanism in our fight against Covid-19.
We sure learn new things every day, huh?
P.s. This article is not sponsored by Poopmaster69 in any way.
Over in TikTok, there’s a drama involving property agents that’s caused by us. Here’s what happened:
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