#FastFoodFridays: Burger King Mala Stacker: The Beef Version is King

It’s Friday, and you know what that means.

It’s time for #ShithouseSaturday #FatFoodFriday #FastFoodFriday!

Yeah, that ShithouseSaturday isn’t actually much of a joke, because I offered myself up as a sacrifice to the Mala. And it’s not just the normal Mala. It’s the Mala stackers we’ve been telling you guys about.

So it’s time for a party in the toilet.

And just in case you need a reminder, it’s S$6.90 for a set and S$2.80 for an additional stack.

Ad: Real life comparison is good

Here at Goody Feed, we bring you unbiased reviews with no manipulation of the product prior to photo taking.

So what you see here is what you get. While it doesn’t look like the prettiest burger, it is pretty faithful to the ad.

There is a decent coverage of the cucumbers throughout the burger, as does the Mala sauce. A solid construction overall.

And if you’re wondering about picture quality and composition, blame Jesus (some say that’s his actual name), who was supposed to be our photographer but went MIA.

Good for sugar lovers, but not great in large quantities

So biting into the burger, how did it taste?

Grainy. Very grainy. Very interesting textures in place here when you go from a fluffy bun into the lettuce, then into a meaty chunk, just a slight resistance, into more crunch with cucumber.

And still very grainy. It’s like eating Hae Bee Hiam with a little bit of sugar sprinkled, texture wise.

The chicken patty doesn’t have too much of a taste, and the Mala is left alone to do all the talking. But as a result, it’s also overwhelmingly sweet.

A quarter of the burger in, the mala’s invading into my senses, literally. After each bite goes, my mouth grows number, each subsequent bite leaving the rest of the burger slightly more unappetizing.

Can I really look at the burger, and say that Burger King has made Sichuan proud? No.

Rating: 2/5.

Beef is better

A little context: I actually ate the beef version outside my obligations for Goody Feed on Wednesday, but only ordered the Chicken version here.

Just giving it straight: Beef is better. It always is, and there’s no question either for this Mala stacker.

But how much better is better? Will just changing one single thing, make the burger that different?

When eating the Beef version, I was convinced that Mala could go well with anything. I even went ahead and told my friend, “dude, Mala goes well with anything.”

I thought Mala truly belonged to the world. Mala hotpot, Mala burgers, Mala with Rice 11/10, Mala Pizzas, Mala popcorns… anything seemed possible. It wasn’t just a burger I ate. It was the dreams of world domination by Mala.

Mala Candy? Not aiming high! Mala Bubble Tea? Why the hell not?! Mala Toothpaste? Bring it on!

And can you really put a value to dreams?

Actually, yes, kind of.

Rating: 3.5/5 with #ShithouseSaturday. 4/5 without #ShithouseSaturday.

So why was Beef that much better?

Burger King’s signature beef patties are made with 100% beef, with no preservatives, fillers or additives and are flame-grilled to bring out the perfect taste match with the Mala sauce.

Not very fun fact: the Chicken burger isn’t real chicken. In fact, they even deliberately named it Chick’N in case people accuse them of saying it is!

What is the Chick’N made out of? Burger King’s website doesn’t seem to list the ingredients, but this web page lists it as:

Chicken Breasts with Rib Meat, Water, Salt, Monosodium Glutamate, Chicken Flavor (Sunflower Oil, Flavors, Chicken Fat, Artificial Flavors, Polysorbate 80, Chicken Powder, Chicken Broth, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean & Cottonseed Oil, Papain, and Thiamine Hydrochloride), Flavoring.

Gee, no wonder people don’t like fast food.