A Wise Old Man once lamented:
“It’s a pity Isaac Newton died before he could father a child. He’ll have been the smartest father there ever was.”
While I tend to agree with the Wise Old Man (because he’s so wise and so old), I’ll have to disagree on this one. And in case you’re wondering, it’s not because Albert Einstein would’ve been a better figure to quote. Rather, it’s because…
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The smartest father in history is probably this guy.
Now I know what you’re thinking. “Who the heck is this guy?” And in response, I say just three words.
Arif the Legend.
Ingenious
It all started when Mohd Arif M. Kasim chose the name Airis Aurora for his newborn daughter.
A nice name, isn’t it? Airis after Flower, and Aurora after a character in Mobile Legends. Perfect.
But as it turns out, there’s so much more to the naming than the first impression implies. For in the father’s next entry, he revealed his grand masterplan.
“I chose the names starting with A to make her life easier at school,” the tweet reads.
“In exams, they’ll make her sit right in front, where the invigilators are. That’ll mean she has to be honest.”
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And it’s not just that either. Arif also mentioned how when parents go to school to collect report cards, names are normally called alphabetically.
By naming his daughter A.A., he’s essentially ensuring that she’ll always get called first, and he wouldn’t have to wait everytime he heads down to collect her report card.
Thereafter, Arif was asked where he got the idea from, and he revealed that it stemmed from his experience working as a technician in school.
“You see, whenever exam results are posted on the notice boards, the names that start with A are at the top. So now I can find her name much easier.”
Yet, while Arif’s busy gushing about his ingenuity, his wife stepped up with a tease of her own.
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“I’m the one who gave birth to the kid. Where’s my mention?”
Well, if anything…
It seems that little A.A. over here is all set for a witty and fun time in their household. 🙂
And so…
This leads to our all-but-mandatory Moral Of The Story segment, a gimmick that just serves to extend the length of the article, and isn’t actually that necessary.
“So what’s the moral this time, smart ass?” my ‘dear’ Aunt Matilda asked me.
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You’ll be surprised. For the moral’s none other than…
Copying the genius of the century by naming your child ‘A.A.’ too.
“…”
Hah, genius right? I’m surprised at my own brilliance.
“Someone get this kid to the doctor pronto. I don’t want his stupidity affecting me.”
In any case, if this happens in Singapore, all I can say is that you’re always going to be Number One.
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Register Number 1.
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