A while back, something earth-shaking happened:
KFC announced that it was ceasing all provision of plastic cups and straws for drinks.
And naturally, the world blew up.
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But like everything else, the world (okay maybe just Singapore) slowly came to accept it. Until…
This.
Yes, my thick-faced ladies and gentlemen…
The war has begun.
Strawsage Party
If you’ve watched Sausage Party, you’ll know that it’s a PG13 movie about cute sausages fighting to the death for their own survival.
And this latest episode is no different. A number of valiant KFC patrons, braving the possible wrath of Kopitiam, treaded dangerous waters to take what they need.
A damn good straw to satisfy their needs.
But unfortunately, it seems that the old maestro, Kopitiam, has caught wind of it.
Transcript:
Dear customers,
Please stop taking straws from Kopitiam or Bagus for your KFC purchase.
We are not KFC’s straws supplier (well-said)
Please get the straws from them if they don’t give you for your purchase.
Kopitiam Management
*End of transcript*
And in case you’re wondering, the notice was plastered on the wall of Greenridge Shopping Center in Bukit Panjang, where both Kopitiam and halal-counterpart Bagus food courts are situated.
Guilty people, you know who you are.
Lest you’re not aware, Bagus is part of Kopitiam.
But of course, do note that it could have been just the manager of that Kopitiam. Or maybe the manager of straws in that Kopitiam.
(By the way, which is nosier: Bread or kopi?)
Creativity at its finest
Singaporeans are supposedly a creative bunch.
And this incident just about exemplifies that. I mean; no straws to accompany your KFC 2 piece chicken meal? Well, just head onto Kopitiam to chope some. Easy peasy, bom pee pee. And don’t chill just yet, McDonald’s and gang…
Because I have a feeling they’re out for you too.
Anyway, it seems that the friendly Netizens of the Internet have something to say about this whole strawsy drama too.
From heated straw debates…
To random comments…
To flaming the one that started it all.
The Netizens, as always, are a lovely bunch. #nosarcasmwhatsoever #ithink
Going green
Contrary to what a newcomer might think, KFC Singapore didn’t actually exclude straws for the sake of extra profits. #ithinkagain
Instead, it’s a conscious effort to save the Earth, as they feel that the supply of plastic cups and straws will somehow cause Armageddon to happen (which is a valid possibility and one that we should fear and all), but still I think we’ll all appreciate a straw in our drinks while dining in KFC, as compared to zero straws.
(Article continues below) Do you know that during the Hungry Ghost Month, you shouldn’t lean on the wall or talk to yourself? Here’s a video on the list of taboos you probably didn’t know about: if you don’t want any unwanted visitors today, you’d better watch it!
(Since you’re here, subscribe to our YouTube Channel for more informative videos lah)
But here’s the thing: straws aren’t totally foregone from the scene. If you really die die want to use a straw, you can actually request for it during takeaways. Hesitant as they are, they’ll probably listen to you because in the end…
Customer is king.
So there you have it folks; stop choping other places’ straws for your own convenience, and instead ask the friendly folks over at Kentucky Fried Chicken for some especially sucky straws. Then Kopitiam wouldn’t have to print warning notices anymore. #wastepaperleh
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Here’s a simplified summary of the South Korea martial law that even a 5-year-old would understand:
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