If you go online, you’d realise that other than the Wuhan virus spreading in Singapore uncontrollably, there’s one more virus that’s even worse.
It doesn’t have an incubation period as symptoms would come in immediately, it affects the mind (kind of like the T-virus in Resident Evil) and while it’s technically not contagious, it has serious repercussions on society, so much so that I’ve been watching Netflix without any potato chips for two days.
Yes, I’m taking about the Kiasu Virus. Rumours have it that it’ll only affect Singaporeans, but because no scientists have studied it in-depth before, we don’t know much about it.
There are actually two vaccines available: the famous Moral Education subject in schools and the Total Defence education we’ve been exposed to since we were young.
But it turns out that the virus has mutated, so those vaccines might not work on some people who’ve started to turn into zombies.
But thankfully, it turns out that technology is the solution to this first-world virus.
Online Stores Still Have Plentiful of Daily Essentials So Please Don’t Raid Supermarkets
If you’d have noticed, supermarkets’ sudden empty shelves aren’t just the zombies’ fault. It’s because the transporter technology from Star Trek hasn’t been invented yet, so replenishing those daily essentials take lots of logistical efforts.
Because no matter what, we have enough daily essentials.
NTUC FairPrice is fixing it by doubling its delivery. If I were the NTUC FairPrice CEO, I would have just kicked every hoarder out of every outlet, but that’s probably why I’m just a lowly writer.
Given that manufacturers would be more than happy for people to stockpile, there’s actually a solution to kick hoarders out of supermarket.
Bring the daily essentials direct to those hoarders for them to start their own minimart at home.
And it turns out that online stores still have stocks.
A check online on Qoo10 shows that rice is still available online, and they are in stock:
Shopee shows the same result:
Same for Lazada’s Redmart:
Amazon, however, does have quite a number of rice that are out of stock, but if you explore it more and opt for unfamiliar brands, you can still cook a hundred bowls of fried rice a day if you so desire:
On the first day of the zombie outbreak, many of these platforms were down, probably due to server overload. So now you hoarders know where to go liao.
By the way, please don’t hoard from supermarkets’ online store. Because this article is to convince you to go elsewhere to hoard, you idiot.
So, if you’ve set aside ten hours to hoard some daily essentials to start a minimart in your house, get the hell out of supermarkets go online lah.
Here’s a simplified summary of the South Korea martial law that even a 5-year-old would understand:
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