Thanks to Covid-19, gone are the days where you could go up to strangers and ask for back and neck massages.
Reader: Uh, those days never existed
Not only can you not cough and sneeze on passing strangers anymore, you can’t even get a good neck massage on the way to work in the MRT.
Reader: How have you not been arrested?
This is especially unfortunate considering 2020 has been an incredibly stressful year.
Social gatherings were illegal for a couple of months, vacations are now impossible, and, most importantly, bubble tea was taken away from us.
Bubble tea.
Fortunately, OSIM has come up with a product that will give you some much-needed relief.
Osim S’pore’s FB Post About Its Handheld Massager Got Shared Over 2.6 Times for Some Unique Reason
On Saturday (7 Nov), while Americans were celebrating Joe Biden’s victory, Singaporeans were going gaga over two new handheld massagers.
OSIM introduced their latest products in a post on Facebook.
The first, called the uPamper Mini, is smaller and perfect for those who desire gentle relief and a massager which they can easily hide from their parents, for whatever reason.
As you can see, this massager will draw a little smile from you, but not overwhelm you with pleasure.
On the other hand, the uDolly 2 offers a more intense experience, featuring a high-frequency vibration that pulses up to 5,500 times per minute.
If you’re someone who needs a little more stimulation to relax, this is the massager for you.
As evident from this photo, the model using the uDolly 2 is clearly happier and more satisfied than the previous model.
Both models seem to have particularly tense necks, but you can use it anywhere you please.
Once fully charged, both these massagers can be used with a cord at any location, whether it’s at an Ikea bathroom, or in your dark, dingy bedroom at 3am in the morning.
If you find the massagers too heavy, you could also get your partner to hold it for you while you experience wave after wave of muscle relief.
Be sure to return the favour, though. Holding that massager up for so long must be taxing on the hands.
Undeniable Resemblance
Okay, so let’s address the big, chunky, vibrating elephant in the room.
One of these massagers clearly has an undeniable resemblance to a very popular product.
Yes, I’m talking about the Wii Nunchuk controller.
Surprisingly, none of the netizens in OSIM’s post noticed this resemblance.
Instead, they were marvelling over the perfectly-innocent looking design of the uDolly2 and asked if the massagers were waterproof, presumably so they could use it if trapped on an island during a thunderstorm.
Either way, these massagers are certainly proving a hit with netizens.
OSIM’s Facebook post has already garnered nearly 3,000 shares and is even trending on Google.
A Great Christmas Present
These massagers would make a great Christmas present for 2020, when most people are in need of some relief, relaxation, and maybe even rapture.
Give it to your aunts and grandmothers if you’d like a swift slap in the face for Christmas, or your partner, who could use some satisfaction.
Some extra satisfaction, of course.
Here’s a simplified summary of the South Korea martial law that even a 5-year-old would understand:
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