Single like a McDonald’s cheeseburger?
Crave for a boyfriend who doesn’t speak like Donald Duck?
Well, I’ve just the thing for you.
According to WorldOfBuzz, a Japanese company has recently released its version of an ‘ideal boyfriend’:
A pair of immersive speakers built in a couple of realistic arms, with a 2D face attached on top.
Love intimacy without all the friskiness?
This is definitely for you.
Single-Like-Cheeseburger Women Can Buy This Portable Biceps Boyfriend With Speakers
Created by the same company which made the RPG game Otome Yusha, the portable boyfriend’s based off one of the video game characters they created and comes equipped with a pair of immersive speakers…
Conveniently attached to bulging biceps.
Muscles, a handsome face and a soothing voice to boot?
What more can you ask from a ‘man’?
A soothing experience
According to @NagataBros (the folks who created this fantastic device), the arms can also “hug the players romantically from behind”.
— 永田 (@NagataBros) July 26, 2019
While unspecified, we can only assume the function to significantly enhance a player’s experience (since the character’s based off an actual otome game).
Also, did I mention that in Otome games, professional voice actors normally do the talking?
So essentially, you’re gonna have a pro voice actor talk in a really soothing tone.
Now if that’s not audio porn I don’t know what is.
It’s also customisable
To make your ‘ideal boyfriend’ even more ideal, the cushion (with the character’s face printed on it) is apparently removable, so if you don’t like the dude’s face for some reason…
Feel free to change it to your favourite character.
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A 34YO "old-virgin" S'porean was desperately looking for a boyfriend and surprisingly, she really found one online. But the intentions of the man will make you cry. Prepare tissue paper to watch this video based on real events:
Incidentally, the device can be charged with a USB cable, and charging’s apparently achievable within 2 hours with the same amount of playback time available. Real convenient in my opinion, and the effort seems to be well worth the charging time.
And so… what’re you waiting for?
If you’re tired of feeling like a cheeseburger and want to transition to that of a double cheeseburger, the route’s clear:
It’s time to get the boyfriend you rightly deserve.
So head on down to the website for more details…
And we’ll see each other with our kick-ass ‘boyfriends’. 😉
P.s. Meanwhile, prepare to melt as your future husband-to-be gets presented once again… this time in video form.
That cute guy in your class? Who needs him? Pfftttt.
He probably talks like Donald Duck anyways.
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