Ultimate Guide on What to Call Your Relatives During CNY Visits

Last Updated on 2023-01-17 , 6:31 pm

Everyone is aware that when a family is large and with multiple generations living at the same time, things can get complicated.

Perhaps it’s the yearly catch-up gossip session of what has transpired in various households, or just a bit of petty feud that came from last year because you won most of the pool off the casual gambling tables and bets made.

In any case, you wouldn’t want to start off on the wrong foot.

Therefore, here’s the ultimate guide for what to call your relatives based on their relations to you or your spouse!

Maternal Family Addresses

Let’s begin with maternal relations first!

For your grandmother and grandfather, they are Lao Lao (姥姥)and Lao Ye (姥爷) respectively.

Your mother’s older sisters should be called Yi Mu (姨母), whilst your mother’s younger sisters should be addressed as Ah Yi (阿姨).

Correspondingly, the husbands of your maternal aunts should be called Yi Zhang (姨丈).

Where your mother’s brothers are concerned, they should be addressed as Jiu Jiu (舅舅). If it is the wife of your uncles, they are your Jiu Mu (舅母).

Where your maternal cousins—children of your aunts and uncles—are concerned, it gets a bit more complicated, since it can shift depending on whether you’re going by age, or whether they were borne by an older or younger sibling of your mother:

•       Older male cousins should be called Biao Ge (表哥)
•       Older female cousins should be called Biao Jie (表姐)
•       Younger male cousins should be called Biao Di (表弟)
•       Younger female cousins should be called Biao Mei (表妹)

Paternal Family Addresses

Compared to maternal relations, paternal relations have a bit more nuance to them since you belong to this surname genealogy.

Your paternal grandfather and grandmother are Ye Ye (爷爷) and Nai Nai (奶奶) respectively.

If your father has older male siblings, you should address him as Bo Bo (伯伯), and his wife as Bo Niang (伯娘).

 If your father has younger male siblings, you should address him as Shu Shu (叔叔), and his wife as Shen Shen (婶婶).

If your father has older female siblings, you should address her as Gu Mu (姑母), and her husband as Gu Zhang (姑丈).

If your father has younger female siblings, you should address her as Gu Gu (姑姑), and their husband as Gu Zhang (姑丈) as well.

With regards to your paternal cousins, it’s a bit confusing depending on whether they are the children of your aunts and uncles, but stick with me here:

If your paternal cousin is the child of your father’s older male siblings, your male cousins are your Tang Xiong (堂兄) or Tang Ge (堂哥), and your female cousins are your Tang Jie (堂姐).

If your Tang Xiong happens to be married, you will have to address his wife as Tang Sao (堂嫂).

Now if your paternal cousins are borne by your father’s younger male siblings, your male cousins are called Tang Di 堂弟妇, and your female cousins are called Tang Mei (堂妹).

The wives of your Tang Di are called Tang Di Fu (堂弟妇), the husbands of your Tang Mei are called Tang Mei Fu (堂妹夫). Note that they are different characters.

For your paternal aunts, however, since they have ‘married out’ of the family, you need replace the ‘Tang’ (堂) character with ‘Gu Biao’ (姑表) to the previously mentioned addresses for your paternal cousins:

• Your aunt’s older male children are your Gu Biao Ge (姑表哥)
• Your aunt’s younger male children are your Gu Biao Di (姑表弟)
• Your aunt’s older female children are your Gu Biao Jie (姑表姐)
• Your aunt’s younger female children are your Gu Biao Mei (姑表妹)

If by any luck, your Tang Biao Ge is married, his wife should be addressed as Gu Biao Jie (姑表姐).

If your Tang Biao Di is married, his wife should be addressed as Gu Biao Mei (姑表妹).

Afterwards, if your paternal cousins have children, your nephews are your Zhi Zi (侄子), your nieces are your Zhi Nü (侄女).

However, if they come from your paternal aunts’ family, add a ‘Biao’ character in front, because they are not from the same surname.

On the other hand, if your nieces and nephews come from your uncle’s children, you need a ‘Tang’ character in front which makes them your Tang Zhi Zi (堂侄子) and Tang Zhi Nü (堂侄女).

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Nuclear Family Addresses

Fortunately, those closest to you are the easiest.

Your older brothers are your Ge Ge (哥哥), younger brothers Di Di (弟弟), older sisters Jie Jie (姐姐) and younger sisters Mei Mei (妹妹).

Regardless of whether you are male or female, your older brothers’ wives will always be addressed as Sao Zi (嫂子). Your younger brothers’ wives are called Di Mei (弟妹).

Your older sisters’ husbands are called Jie Fu (姐夫, your younger sisters’ husbands are called Mei Fu (妹夫).

Moving down the family generation and disregarding gender, your son’s wife is your Xi Fu (媳妇), your daughter’s husband is your Nü Xu (女婿).

The children of your son will be called Sun Zi (孙子) if they are male, and Sun Nü (孙女) if they are female.

The children of your daughter will be called Sun Zi and Sun Nu respectively as well, but you need to add a ‘Wai’ (外) character—which means outside or under a different surname in this context—in front of the addresses, which makes them your Wai Sun Zi (外孙子) and Wai Sun Nü (外孙女).

If you’re lucky enough to already see your great-grandchildren, just add a ‘Zeng’ (曾) character in front.

… Chinese people really are a complicated bunch, huh.

As much as I love the fact that our recorded history stretches back by more than 5000 years, there are some things I am not entirely grateful for.

Nonetheless, make sure you don’t get these addresses wrong, and I hope you will have a Happy Lunar New Year!

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