We all have something unspeakable in our childhood that we don’t want people to know about.
You know, like the times you said you’d marry your mother or dad, or the times you pooped in your pants, or the times you called your teacher “mummy”.
Or that time, I gave the nickname kukujiao to my Pikachu’s name in Pokemon Yellow but didn’t know how to change it. But then I realised it was at a point when other kids are finding saying the word kukujiao to be childish.
In my mind, I was going holy shit, my friends must not see this or they will think I’m childish and retarded.
So I smashed my GameBoy.
Call me old, call me uncle, but that’s the story.
Kukujiao Isn’t Cool
But yeah, my point is that when I was about 10 years old, kukujiao is a word that kids realise don’t sound cool anymore.
Today’s youth gives me hope, because there are kids like Greta Thunberg calling for climate change and that 20-year-old who worked on Avengers. I’m always hearing unnamed stories about some poly or uni student working on some cool tech, or volunteering for the elderly. Good stuff.
So when I opened Straits Times for today, refreshed at the idea that youths today are surely making another breakthrough for humanity.
Ah yes, NTU, what great things do our young minds have today-
NTU Freshman Orientation Camp In The Limelight
What is this? Oh god, it’s not going to be one of those orientation camps things, is it?
Investigation? Involvement of professors? Cheer not in line with the values of “safety, respect and inclusiveness” at NTU?
A professor even said, “If students are emotionally affected by the cheer, NTU would reach out to them and give them the support they need.”?
What obscene activities are involved now? What kind of word would create such a commotion? The involvement of the authorities and the news?
I then went to Stomp for the actual video.
Kukubird
The word is kukubird.
Every second in the video, my faith for youths go down a little. So I suggest you don’t waste your time reading this if you have better things to do.
Literary classics in the making in the cheer include “Kukubird ah~!” and “Kukubird! Kukubird! Look at our Kukubird!”
All the while exaggerated gestures are pointed to the nether regions, or the actions a combination of doing squats and arm rotations with the human vocal mimicry of an explosion.
Oh god why.
So many things wrong here. That someone actually thought the cheer was a good idea. That someone actually thought taking the video and sharing it is a good idea. And that someone at the news station decided this was newsworthy.
I shut down my laptop, and told my editor I’m done for the day.
I had received severe damage to my faith in humanity.
You Can Watch The Full Video Below While I Go Cry
Here’s a simplified summary of the South Korea martial law that even a 5-year-old would understand:
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