How do you get excited about Coke?
Coke used to be the dope shit because there wasn’t much to drink back then and also that it used to contain actual cocaine.
But once bubble tea started to take over human civilisation… my choice of sugar drinks now just devolved into Earl Grey Milk Tea, Milk Tea, Brown Sugar Milk Tea. Or when I’m feeling poor, Teh Peng.
Sometimes I’ll even tell the uncle no pearl just to show that I actually just want to drink bubble tea and not teh peng.
Anyway, it’s time to revisit the dope shit with…
No, not this frozen:
This frozen:
(Full disclosure: I chose this over Jack Daniel’s Cola because I don’t drink alcohol. Bad choice? You decide.)
First Impressions
According to the signs at 7-Eleven, they said to wait 15 minutes to drink the goods.
I tried to slurp the slushie and it isn’t quite working as intended without waiting it out.
15 minutes? Ain’t nobody got time for dat.
We don’t play by the rules here.
Yeah, it’s blasphemy, but I cut the thing.
It smells like Coke, for sure.
How It Tastes
For the sake of science, I drank from both the packet as intended and from the glass.
Squishing the packet at this point is still rather difficult, but a while later it can be squished quite easily.
But does it taste like Coke? Can I really ‘taste the feeling’?
Well, actually no. This is to be expected when I’m in an office environment. It tasted like un-carbonated Coke with a hint of lemon.
And maybe it’s because of the packaging, or that you have to slurp/suck the bits out. Or that taking the carbonation out somehow concentrates the sugar because you don’t get the extra fizzy feeling. It’s somewhat sweeter than Coke.
But otherwise, I’d just say it’s nothing much special and that it’s just Coke, but thrown in the freezer. I would later learn they spent 8 years developing this, which made me spit out my slurps.
I say it’s more like a project on the shelves for 8 years, so technically in total, they spent 8 years, but it’s really less than that. Yeah, I’m sceptical.
I think this product could have been a lot more enjoyable if I were in a different environment, i.e. not an office. Afterall, it tasted like Coke. Everybody drinks Coke.
At S$1.30 per packet, it’s not a cheap product that gives you 130 ml. It probably doesn’t even quench your thirst, but functions as a dessert.
Rating: 3/5.
But if I’m not in an office and don’t want to wait 15 minutes for this to defrost, then how do I enjoy this? I’d have to really enjoy the defrosting process of squishing, while also enjoying the slurping after that. In what circumstances is this product fantastic?
Which is why I came up with this scenario:
Somewhere… in the fields or something. Maybe a parade square doing some random sai kang like moving stores I don’t know.
Chaokeng Kia: Man down! Man down!
Concerned Teammate: Where’s the medic?! We have a case of heat exhaustion!
BlurMedic: Come, what’s the problem here?
Concerned Teammate: Heat injury lah! Where’re the icepacks?!
BlurMedic: Uh… uh! Let me call encik first!
Encik (over the phone): Ice pack? Just give him water parade and ask him don’t chao keng. Bring him here.
Chao keng Kia looks away and keeps quiet.
Siaolang2000, lying on the ground: W…Wait… I have a better idea… Take my wallet and go to the e-mart and buy me Coca-Cola… but not just any Coca-cola… Coca-cola frozen.
Concerned Teammate: Siaolang2000! Today shall not be the day you fall! I will fulfil your wishes! Wait for me, bro!
*comes back with 6 packs of Coca-cola frozen*
Random narrator: Coca-cola frozen. The perfect drink for the heat. Doubles as an ice pack… that you can drink.Â
#Notsponsored by SAF or Coca-cola, but if you want to do so… We’re not saying no.
Watch this for a complete summary of what REALLY happened to Qoo10, and why it's like a K-drama:
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