M’sian Slammed for Saying That If Angbaos from Wedding Guests Can’t Cover Cost, They Shouldn’t Accept the Invitation

Last Updated on 2023-02-18 , 10:46 am

Generally speaking, giving angpaos—red envelopes filled with money—during a wedding, is both an offering of well-wishes for their auspicious union and to help kickstart their life together.

In essence, it’s something given in good faith. It’s been a Chinese tradition for ages.

Thus, when one Facebook netizen decided to share their hot take about wedding angpaos on the Facebook group, KL Blow Water Station (KL娱乐站), let’s just say they went met with a rousing response.

Albeit not a pleasant one.

No Money Don’t Come

In the post, they wrote, “My maternal younger male cousin’s wedding banquet costs RM2,200 per table, with no drinks included. Most of the guests that came only gave RM150 or RM180.

“Everything is so expensive now, if you don’t have the capital to give more than RM300, don’t accept other people’s invitation, don’t make them lose money.”

… Time to bring out the fire extinguishers because the original poster is about to get roasted.

Backlash from the Netizens

Needless to say, the netizens were extremely displeased by their opinion.

One of the most well-liked comments read, “Excuse me, did you organise the wedding banquet just to make money? If that’s the case, then explicitly write how much money [the guests] should be giving on the invitation. If they are willing, they’ll attend and randomly eat some food, if they’re not willing, then that’s your family’s problem. Moreover, no one told you to arrange a banquet that’s RM2,200 per table. Only invite/treat others if you have the ability. Even if you don’t have the ability, don’t ask everyone else to help you hold up your stage, OK.”

Another netizen wrote, “Since you don’t have the money, don’t hold a wedding banquet then. Treating a wedding dinner as a transaction, now that’s what’s despicable about this.”

Other Facebook users were of the similar sentiment, pointing out that their cousin could have chosen not to hold the wedding banquet at all if he was struggling financially.

And as previously mentioned, giving wedding angpaos is an act in good faith; how much a person is willing to give is ultimately their decision, but the amount, however much or little, doesn’t change the fact that the giver is expressing their sincerity and goodwill.

For the same reasons, it’s quite understandable why most of the comments viewed the post in a negative light.

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Besides the criticism, there were naturally some who teased the cousin, saying that he could have opt for a buffet style, or choose a cheaper wedding dinner, even going as far as suggesting that they hold the wedding dinner in open space if they’re so concerned about making a profit.

The moral of the piece is probably don’t bite off more than you can chew.

If you can’t afford to eat the loss (spend the money), then either size down the event/theatrics or find alternatives.

Making others sound like a burden just because they’re not giving enough angpao money is just odd, plus it’s the newly wedded couple hosting the wedding dinner, how could you expect your guests to bear the entire expense?

The logic appears to be flawed.  

Additionally, the original poster’s relatives might be choosing to not attend their wedding, should an invitation ever arrive at their doorstep, now that they know about their angpao expectations.

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