Security Guard Caught Trying to Shove an oBike Down a Platform

Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news! Just when we thought we’ve gotten rid of them—they’ve returned, stronger than ever!

There’s no stopping them anymore! They are no longer just seemingly harmless joggers along the streets!


The cult lives, my friends. THE CULT LIVES!

The cult of the Longkang god is back, and now they’re unstoppable!

However, this time around, they no longer pray to just the Longkang god!

On 1 March, a member of the cult was seen offering oBikes to the railing god on an elevated platform at the Enterprise Hub along 48 Toh Guan Road East at around 7.30 pm!

A Stomper by the name of Muni was able to capture a series of images proving the return of the damnable cult. Here’s one of the photos:

Image: Stomp

We can see a believer from the cult shoving a poor oBike between the mouths of the railing god, in an attempt to appease his master.

Worse still, the believer is likely a security guard for the building! (It might just be a disguise, we’ll never know)

According to Stomper Muni, there is a coffeeshop nearby and some people would park their bicycles on the elevated platform before getting a meal at the coffeeshop!

I don’t know about you, but this sounds to me like the perfect opportunity for the cult to strike!

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Stomper Muni also added that the man had already given two bicycles as offerings before he started filming.

“I understand that the area is not a designated zone to park the bikes, but this is just disgusting,” said Stomper Muni. “I’m not sure if the man is a security officer from one of the facilities nearby. We should all respect public property.”

…Alright, alright. I can only keep up the nonsense for so long.

I understand that sometimes idiots will park the bikes all over the place, obstructing footpaths and all. However, the actions of the security guard are completely uncalled for too.

Then and again, the bike companies ain’t really doing shit about the bikes either. (Well, it’s not like they can control the users too and the current measures are just… lacklustre.)

At the end of the day, Singapore as a society is perhaps really not ready for services like bike sharing after all.


That is all.

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